April 2004

Fan mail

We get feedback almost every day on this web site, 99% of it is positive and encouraging. That stuff gets old, it's boring to hear that same old junk. It can all be summarized as "great site", "you guys are cool", "can you please join my company's board of directors?" and from the ladies, "I want to have your baby". So let's focus on the negative reactions here, so you can see what a pain it can be being a famous microwave celebrity. By the way, I've shortened my email address for the convenience of those of you that use a breathing tube hook-up to write your email, it's now UE@microwaves101.com.

Message: "You stole our idea for a microwave web site that doesn't suck. We have lawyers you know..."
- satan@IEEE.com

Response: "You callin' me out? See you at the Fort Worth symposium, sucka!"
- UE@microwaves101.com

Message: "You've ruined my life. In a critical MMIC power amplifier design, I went with your opinion that "SiGe sucks for power", and my GaAs amp costs five times what the competitors solution does. I plan on killing you, what is your real name?"
- osama@samsung.com

Response: "Jeez, can't you take a joke? By the way, I just saved a bundle on car insurance, which I am going to invest in the SiGe corporation".
- UE@microwaves101.com

Message: "Your message board really sucks. I have been waiting for three months for an answer to my question about obtaining all of the solutions to Pozar. What gives?"
- hotchick@umass.edu

Response: "Too many potatoes in that book, we are trying to maintain a low-carb site. Why don't you quit school and join the McDonalds workforce? I hate to pry, but I am curious, which is your favorite Power Ranger?
- UE@microwaves101.com

Message: "Why do you hate HP computers? We've never shipped a product that I wouldn't stand behind myself."
- carly@hewlettpackard.com

Response: "Seems to me that your product is a testament to six sigma. And I don't mean that in a good way, sweetcake."
- UE@microwaves101.com

Message: (this one I am not making up): "Explain to me why the microwave oven makes my bed shake?"
- name withheld

Response: "I'm not sure. Once a long time ago in college some guys I know put speakers under some loser guy's bed and played "Thus Spake Zarathustra" for him several times in the middle of the night in order to drive him insane. It worked. Why did they let you out?"
- UE@microwaves101.com

Message: "Bon jour. S'il vous plait, vous non utiliserez pas le "System Metrique" ici. Pourquoi?
- jacques@badbreathmicrowave.fr

Response: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries, you French whiner! We proudly use inches, as does the Michelin Corporation, have you heard of them?"
- UE@microwaves101.com

OK, that's enough yuks, everybody get back to work.

- Unknown Editor

Check out the Unknown Editor's archives when you are looking for a way to screw off for an hour or so!